Feeling inspired..

Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like everything in your head needs to come out? I feel that way today. I'm feeling incredibly inspired to write it all down. There's not much substance, or reliable stories just a whole lotta garble that really needs to come out. I'm feeling inspired, I've been moved by love and I just want to share it.
I was watching a Super Sappy Teenage Romance Movie (Probably the exact one that just flashed into your head) It's so cheesy, The book was poorly written. Too Much detail in places and not much detail in others. Star Crossed Lovers, that shouldn't be together but are. I have a story in my head that I have been working on for years.. Developing Characters, Back Stories, I have an Antagonist, a Protagonist, a Hero, a Warrior, and a love interest. I have about 100 pages written in my Penzu Account. I have My Story Web all worked out and An ending that would knock your socks off. The problem is, I just don't have any time to write it all down. I know it's good. I dream of it. I think of my Characters all the time. I don't even want anyone to read it, I just want it all out of my head and onto paper. I want my story to breath life, and mesmerize me through detail. I don't want it edited or printed or bound and covered. I just want it to live.
I don't even know where to start. But I know it's going to be good.
I Yearn for a good love story, a sappy "Wuv, Twue Wuv" Kinda thing. One that ends with the beginning. When I turn the last page I want to be satisfied, but left thinking about where they go from here. I want stones left un turned and a happy ending around every corner.. I know it's not real life, But I want to believe it is. I need hope of a better tomorrow. I'm reading Nicholas Sparks right now to Satisfy my Craving for love. I just wish his books weren't so cookie cutter. "Boy meets girl, Boy Chases Girl, Girls gives in, Boy Loves girl, A fight and then a break up and then a few years go by and boy runs into girl with new boyfriend has second thoughts, goes back to old boyfriend and they walk into the sunset holding hands" I NEED MORE!!
   Stephanie Meyer, Learn to write better and get back to me with someone new!! Thanks..
                                              Kat

Worry..

As a mom,
I strive all day to make sure my kids are following the rules. I strive to make them show good manners, act descent in public, Speak Kind words, Say their sorry, Show each other love.
 I strive to keep them healthy by teaching good nutrition, feeding them wholesome foods, teaching them to wipe their bottoms and wash their hands.
I strive to teach them daily to have confidence, by positive reinforcement, following through, reminding them "You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important" Reminding them that God doesn't make mistakes and they were born to do great things..
 But most importantly I try to teach them love, by hugging them and teaching them to hug each other. Reminding them that I love them and that I love their daddy EVERY single minute of the day..
But at the end of the day, All I really want for them is to be happy. Treat people with kindness and Love EVERYONE!
When I'm old, and they are grown When they call me the first thing I will ask them is if they are happy. If the answer is Yes, Then I will be happy.. That's all I really care about. I will spend my life Striving to make that happen.

Still Angry.....After all these years..

Remember, the other day..When you read about my kinda habit of lying about my age? I think I may have told one or two boyfriends along the way that I was pregnant .. Gasp....Horror......Shame... I know. I was a teenager and I needed unconditional love.. It never worked out in my favor.. I was Never ACTUALLY pregnant and I always confessed, or they would get scared and run off and never come back.. Shameful.. I know, I was young and dumb.. 

So anyway.. I'm not here to confess my sins today.. Been there done that, now it's time to move on. 

So my little white lies, I realize the whole pregnancy thing may or may not have given some older boys I knew a heart attack. But other than that, I didn't really tell lies to hurt people. It was more of a *Lets see what Kind of attention I can get* Kind of a thing. I never meant to hurt anyone.. I never really caused life altering damage to someone.. That I know of.. I think..

So anyway, The reason why I bring this up so late tonight is because someone told a big lie about me when I was a teenager and it ruined a lot of other relationships. They said that I did something really awful, and It hurt them in a very very bad way. The truth is so much different. I was a wild teenager and I kissed lots of boys, and stole lots of boyfriends, and got kissed by a couple teachers. I wasn't a MEAN person, All though the whole boyfriend stealing makes me sound that way. I was not aggressive or mean or caddy or bully-ish. This lie was so monumental that I got a reputation in my neighborhood, It got around in church, it got around at school.. It was devastating.. It STILL is Devastating.. I just want to go on the record saying this... I didn't do what you said I did. YOU know this, I know this.. I hope that your not telling everyone you meet that this happened to you, because YOU know it's a lie..

Anyway..  11 years later and I'm still butt hurt.. I know, I should get over it. and that is why I wrote this little bloggy blog.. I needed to get it off my chest. and now I did, and I'm fine now.. 

So I guess I can let go of the anger and resentment and just be ok.. Just like My Girl Ingrid Michelson says.. "I just want to be okay today" So that is all, and I am fine now.. I'm going to go snuggle up against my mister and read my  Nook.. or a book on my Nook... Oh sweet Jesus. IT's time for bed.. goodnight Blog land.. I ibid you Adieu 

Confession Thursday

I still have a big crush on my husband. He makes me smile..

Sincerely Yours..

It's been a while since I've blogged. I have 3 or four, depending on my mood. My life at that exact moment when I decide to put my thoughts down on {paper}.. Well you know, on "screen" rather. So I blog consistently for a year or two and then lose interest. When I finally come around to the idea of sharing my thoughts with the ENTIRE world I start a new one. 


So here I am. 


Let me explain about myself. I'm Kat, Well Katrina. I'm 27, Way to young to be complaining about my age, but way to old to not complain about my age. I'm a mom of 2. 


Xander who is adorably 8. Adorable for the most part,with All that Whiny, Happy, Sad, Overly dramatic attitude that comes with an 8 year old that is too smart for his own good. He is a lover of Dinosaurs and Outer Space, a Spanish dual Immersion student who speaks it beautifully, Loves to read historical fiction (age appropriate I mind you) and would rather stay inside playing video games and reading than outside exploring the world. He is my best friend, my first born and absolutely the love of my life.. And then there is Eliza, My spunky stylish dress wearing princess. Who loves painting her toe nails with rad colors, braiding her hair in tiny braids so its "Crunchy" in the morning. She is constantly wrapping her arms around her dad and I kissing us all over the face and reminding us how much she loves us.. "I'm lucky your my girl" I say.. "I'm lucky your my mom" She replies.. 

The kids are what gets us up in the morning, and also what keeps us awake at night..
   
                             So now a story, 

      there once was this 17 year old girl who was in the habit of lying about her age.. Adding a year here and there to make herself older, get her into bars, and get older boys to kiss her. She met this super shy young 21 year old who grew up in a small town, raised by devout Mormons, and fresh off his LDS mission in Riverside, CA. This girl, told him she was 18 and graduated from High School. So he shyly asked her out on a date, He picked her up in his new car. She was excited, he was tall and handsome but painfully shy. On this date to the movies he said 6 whole words to her "What did you want to see?" he asked, She told him, he paid for the movie and took her home. This girl, thought he was a lost cause and didn't expect to hear from him again.. In the early hours of the morning her phone went off, with tired eyes she read the text. "I had a lot of fun, I'm sorry I didn't talk much but I want to do this again sometime". It caused butterflies for the 17 year old, Not a uncommon feeling, but this time it was different. You see, this particular 17 year old had seen lots of the fish that swam in the sea. Some nice, but most NOT SO NICE. So it was a strange feeling when a person paid for her movie ticket, opened her door and walked her to her door step. "Maybe this ones different" she thought to herself. So a few nights later, she got a call he said "Let's go get dinner and a movie and we'll get to know each other" She made herself look pretty and prepared for a second date. So he took her to Tucci's Made her eat calamari and walked to the theater. THE RING was the movie he picked. The 17 year old was a scared little cat and hung tight to the 21 year old hand. After the movie he took her home and they began getting to know each other more and more. A mere 4 weeks later the 17 year old got a weird feeling. She Loved him, She knew he loved her and she knew it was going to get serious really soon. So a confession needed to be made. With great fear she typed 2  short sentence that she knew would  change everything "I have something to tell you. I'm not 18. I'm 17, I'm sorry I lied. I understand" she pressed send and waited for a response. It took a little longer than expected but when she got it it said "Well, It's a good thing I love you, because that would be a deal breaker otherwise. Within a few days he asked for her hand. she said yes and 3 weeks after she turned 18 they were married With a little bundle of joy on the way. that little bundle turned into a boy.


 So 9 and a half years later that 17 and 21 year old turned into Kat and Jason. Best friends and Partners in Crime.